Walking
by Raven Dagaz With of Shadows
Summary: My take on Captain Jack Harkness and trying to meet Death (personified as a girl walking the world)
1. Fall - The Truth

Walking, she steps and steps. Problems arise, but she keeps on walking. One foot after the other. One side is to her home, though she never stays there. It is a place for all she brings, quick visits so that she may bring them to her home. She brings them to her home, where they stay forever, happy and joyful, while she leaves, leaves to walk in the Life. She leaves her home to walk in the Life, in the Living World, a place where she walks, to never stay for a second, only keep bringing them to her home. Just keep walking. Their faces slowly melt into each other, she has seen the perfectly calm, they who try to cling onto Life, the willing, the disfigured, the happy, the sick, the failed. But she keeps on walking. Keeps on walking. Until the day truly comes.

There is only one person who truly stays away from her for eternity. She knows how it is, how it came to be. For that one person, just before he can take her hand, he slips back, is dragged back to Life. She knows how it is, while she keeps on walking. She can never touch him. He is prepared…and then dragged back to Life. She knows the way it is. But she keeps on reaching for him. It is the ultimate hurt for them both. At the start, when they were naïve enough to think that they could hold each other's hands, see each other's homes, they were slow, so slow to look each other in the eye. As it kept on going, as she kept walking, and he kept living, they began to realize what was happening. But she and he, they both kept hope, kept hope to go to her home. As he began to feel the curse, she tried harder. As he started to reach for her, as far as he could, she ran to him. She kept running each time, but every time she failed. So was their time, never life, never death.

He became her true sorrow, as she kept trying, just to help him out of Life as she had to for each of his friends, those he loved, those he hated.

She became his longest lasting relationship, as they became accustomed to seeing, but never touching, unlike how he could for his friends, those he loved, those he hated.

She began to call for him, he began to call for her. She had to keep on going, trying to find him, while he was forced back, trying to meet her.

And in the end, they both fell, trying to meet each other.


	2. Silently Watching

Anyone who has read this and the part before, please, thank you. If you have time, please review as well! I'd love any kind of words. Tell me how you feel, what I could do better, what I did completely wrong. This goes from Death personification.

It's bitter to taste, really. Bitter enough to scorch her tongue…except for the fact she's evanescent but eternal, ephemeral as she slips through the barriers of Life and Death, incorporeal, fingers flickering and holographic, translucent and transparent. No one knows her, just never remembers. Like the Silence, no one except with a clever device can remember her after they see her. Déjà vu, in the strongest. That's her. Déjà vu, unnoticeable to them. She can remember watching, silently watching as bloody Torchwood (that's what many of her passengers called them) dragged the boy back with the foolish Resurrection Glove. She can remember silently waiting to bring him back, as Captain Jack Harkness had asked the boy, how it felt, what he had seen when he died.

Well, Jack Harkness had not gotten a proper answer _there_. The boy hadn't left completely yet, so the Glove worked on him, but he wouldn't have seen truth yet. Well, that wasn't _her_ fault they didn't understand everything. She wasn't going to tell them anyway. Or at least she would, when she would have to carry them away from Jack. Was fate trying to torture her? Ah yes, torture by the Top Interrogator of the Time Agency…with a lime twist, because Captain Harkness didn't know he was torturing her…and he didn't know he was a pawn. He also didn't know he was tormenting her. He also didn't know her. At least, he had never managed to get to her. Now, he was _searching_, yes. But searching does nothing. Especially when it involves repeated suicides.

Though he was a smart man. He was also old enough now that she would call him a man. The Time Lords, the high-and-mighty Gallifreyans also fell under the same category, though they were too foolish, with their gleaming towers and centuries of being pacifistic fools. Sadly enough, the Master himself was the only Gallifreyan she really had respected and liked. Though the Doctor still won in the who-in-the-universe-is-best-at-genocide competition. By far, verily.


	3. Rose Petals

This is from the episode Small Worlds. The one with the little girl Jasmine and her friends? 'Come away, oh human child'. It is one of my favorite episodes, though it's more because I wish they'd come for me. I'd feel safe, safe with a family not set because we share only blood. Jasmine goes to a family that is chosen by choice, not blood.

Time keeps on spinning past for him. Time slows for her. It's rather odd, she thinks as she carries away Estelle. The afterlife for her was of the country. He was right in that regard. She only feels sorrow for Estelle though. She won't find her Captain again. Not ever. It gave her no happiness to show her that her Captain Harkness was the same as the Jack she had known later. Estelle has such good memories though, remembering so much. If only her sight had kept as well. If that had happened, Estelle would have known perfectly the lack of difference between the 'father' and 'son' who were one. But while the minds of humans stay sometimes, the body fades.

Estelle is trusting as well. So trusting. She truly believed in 'fairies'. But belief holds no sway for one who knows it all. The only thing she can hold belief is that perhaps the Bad Wolf created her. She is not sure. She isn't sure of anything on that matter, really. The Bad Wolf is the one that she cannot know. No life, no death, only omnipresence. The one that Death holds nothing for.

Rose petals were stuffed in the crazed man's mouth. She knew the memory Harkness would have, visiting the locked cell and seeing. She can remember walking away with all of those soldiers. They had been drunk for the reason, so she partly smiles at the memory. Those who had done the job were almost as her young sisters. She can understand their reasoning quite well, no matter what qualms Jack would and will have. The crazed man deserved the death. Often there was a dearth of justice like so for other younglings though. She does not like that, but what can she do? She is powerless in matters of in living.

As she watches, she actually laughed once, as she walks away with the girl's foster father. In fact, she has even tried to torment the boy, appearing as Jasmine herself. The boy deserved it, all those questions eating away at him as she gave him no heed, only beckoning. Sadly enough, she couldn't just leave him though. She has no power for that either.

She will never carry Jasmine away though. The girl made her choice, and verily, she becomes much like Jack, save the few key differences found. Jasmine would have a true family, kept forever. Jack would be lonely forever, only a few flashes of happiness. Jasmine can be in the past and future, Jack lives of the present and past.

But she herself keeps the present and future all as her gift. And as they all live, none have it all.


	4. Laughing

She laughs and laughs and laughs. Laughs until she cannot anymore. Laughs so hard that those she carries away look at her with slight fear. Though, well, after death, some things fade. Like fear. She has been laughing so hard that some managed to catch back to those souls. The thought makes her laugh even more.

As much as she follows the trail of death beyond the Captain, she giggles and follows the trail behind Captain John Hart even more. The man delights in the business that keeps hers afloat. Now that makes her laugh more. But it is that. Both her Captains are just that touch so sadistic. Makes her snicker every time she thinks about them. Makes her break out in laughter every time she remembers how it had been when they were partners. That had been a job. Everywhere they went, she just about floated behind them. But it was funny, just watching them. As well as picking up the souls behind them…but that was her job. She enjoyed watching livers, even if they were the ones that made her job so large. But death from old age and disease is boring enough, and normal warriors even more so. Therefore, she people-watched. Or person-watched, really. Only Hart and Harkness ever really interested her. The others were annoying, and Doctor. Enough said.

She has to giggle once at the first five minutes that Captain John Hart was on Earth. She knew she watched him for a reason. First thing he has to do is choose a fight. Asking which artery the boy was to sever was pure comedy…for her and him at least. The cosmic message of Star Wars was also referenced by him. She knew again why she watched while sending the poor souls that got caught by the killer. At least they usually got a quick death. Only a few got strung out by him. The man lived for the fight. The Captain used to as well, before he met the Doctor. Then he turned into the goody-goody of the two.

She watches the greetings avidly. Together they brought the worst out of her…without them knowing it by the star fact that they didn't know she was real. Thank whoever was her Creator that she could split herself. Thank them so gratefully.

Synchronization, to the utmost were they. She watches with a smirk as they aimed their guns at each other. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Then Torchwood arrives, guns waving. No blazing for the Captain's pet secret organization that emblazoned it's logo across a giant van that even a mortal would notice. Now isn't she feeling touchy?

Radiation bomb clusters…she always loves his sense of humor. She had _met_ Vera, and darling dearest, he had shot her. Loved the jokes.

Little Toshiko Sato had run so willingly to the medic's side. Afraid he'd go away. Death knew better. She knew, just as knowledgeably as Hart himself, they'd all get saved by each other. Only thing was, she wishes she knew how to read minds. Unfortunately, that ability is beyond her. If she could, she'd ask whether Hart had even noticed that he was tying the team together. Perhaps he knew, as he asks the Captain to come with him…travel the galaxies. Take stars for themselves.

But she knows better. She had watched the Captain, hadn't she? All that time. Changed so much she wants to laugh even more. She cannot cry. Impossibility for her. So she laughs. Laughs as the gift latches onto Hart. Laughs when she knows he will not die. Laughs even more when he handcuffs himself to another. Neither will die though, and she loves the irony.

She watches impassively as the goodbye is broken. And he had thought that the Captain would come running to him? No. The only one the Captain was running to he had just seen.


	5. Crazy

She is crazy, truth be told. The Bad Wolf is omnipresent, so is she. She doesn't know how she can feel, how emotions run through her, anything. The laughter has stopped now, and she is watching impassively as the Master unleashes the Toclafane. The Doctor watching, the Captain dead for now. Even as she watches, she is carrying away the many deaths so quickly. With the job of Death comes with split-personas. Very cute. Too cute.

Something flashes through her, and she remembers the laughter of the Captain's first death. Then his second. Then when he got thrown off the cliff. When he got shot by Suzie Costello. She remembers what she believes was the first one she carried off. The Doctor's companion, Amy Pond, taken by old age. No, that cannot be right. Did the Bad Wolf know how fractured she was now? Death herself, completely mental, a basket-case.

Laughter wells up in her as tears fall. She shakes herself irritably. She is Death, how does Death have a corporeal body? Impossibility in words indescribably annoying. Ah well.

But her mind wanders back to the times of when the Captain had been 'flirting' with her. Flirting with Death. Many did it, and many came to her, but while the Captain was close, he was whisked away. Imagination ran away with her then, and she imagined that life was the same as her, and they were both jealous.

Her mind is running away from her now, and she remembers the Doctor shepherding the Captain into the deadly radiation, just to save the humans-that-wouldn't-ever-be-saved. Because that's what they all are. Things-that-wouldn't-be-saved because people think they will be.


	6. Death

**I'm so sorry for leaving this for so long. I couldn't think, and of course, school wanted a bunch of tests. Lovely, right? But still, this isn't the best, but I hope you'll like it. Please read? (and review, please…)**

She's going mad for sure now. Oh, she had thought of it before, but now? She's gone mad, she's laughing, and she's _angry._ Adorable. That foolish Ressurection Glove is back into play. They had _locked the thing up in a box_ for the Universe's sake. And what happens? The moment Owen bloody Harper dies, out it comes again. Her Captain _knew_ the risks. He _knew_ them. But what does he do? Go along, check up all the silly legends, go on memory flashbacks, find the little girl so like him, and _use the bloody thing on his goddamn medic_.

She's not quite sure why she's surprised. She should have expected this. Of course. Her Captain is just that tied to his team. She really should have known this. But silly her, she wanted a good story and she was following the timeline properly. Really? Now she is beginning to think exactly why she even _had_ the ability to follow timelines. Her Creator should have known that this would happen. An angry Death.

Though of course what they see as mortals isn't her. That's just a little simulacrum they made up. Definitely not _her_. She has a better fashion than _that_.

Oh who is she kidding? She doesn't _have_ a fashion. But still.

She skips over the scenes. She's Death, she'll just look at something else. Doctor River Song. Beautiful woman, and part Gallifreyan who does kill quite a bit.

Death doesn't need to watch everything. Just bring along everyone who dies, and silently berate her foolish Captain who can't hear or see her. He can sort of feel her, but that's the reason he keeps trying. But really, the only reason this happened was because of his enormous folly. He was the exact reason that they spent all the time trying to save the poor boy. Leukemia. Even Death felt pity, though it was needed in the great Scheme (that she really hated).


	7. Smile

Because really, there's a lot of things to smile about when you don't know how.

And honestly? Death doesn't know what to smile about. Therefore, she doesn't. Simple deduction. One minus one equals zero.

(Death plus Life equals _the worst thing ever_)

She smiles at that. Turns out exceptionally wrong, she feels, and her face is twisted in ways that it doesn't usually twist and she wonders _why_ she's trying this again.

She tries it about one every three centuries. It never turns out properly.

She's got vigintillions of faces to match against, millennia of times she's seen people smile, but it _always goes wrong_. And she hates the fact. Makes her different. Makes her _off_. Makes her wrong. Even a baby can smile. People die with smiles on their faces.

(_people also die with pain on their face, grimaces, sobbing tears, and silly, silly laughter_)

Because really, how does Death compare with the _start_ of Life? They are opposites, it simply doesn't work. It doesn't be, it doesn't work, it doesn't _sound_. She won't scream, she won't shout, she just _is_.

(_she never was a baby_)

She doesn't understand and it hurts as much as it doesn't. Death doesn't feel pain, and that makes her laugh a little, makes her think, but it doesn't make her smile, and that's _wrong_.

(_she's not wrong_)

Makes her laugh.

Really, laughing and smiling are two different things, and she knows _that_.

(_can do the former, fails the latter_)

Because really, she doesn't understand, and Death can hate.

(_just as much as it can love_)

And in the end, she's _it_ not _her_.

Makes her laugh, and that's a little wrong, right?

Because she doesn't know smiling, she _can't_. She doesn't have the meaning, and so she falls. Death can't die, so she falls, and she used to have wings, she still does, even if she won't use them.

(_doesn't mean she can't_)

But saying you will not, shall not, can not, they all are different, they all change. And Death, Death doesn't change. What would Death change to? How would Death change? _Why_ would Death change? Change is alien and unknowable to Death. And that is why it reigns ultimate. It _started_ as absolute perfection, it will end like so, even if it never will end.

Well, perfection as much if she is completely insane, able to care, can't smile, laughs, and is _absolutely, mad, raving crazy_.

Death is still perfect(ish) as she falls.

So what if she's got that _twisted_ smile on her face as she does so?


	8. Simplicity

**This is so late, but I've been reading HP fanfics and I've found a new obsession with reading about Dark!Harry, Grey!Harry, QuestionableMorality!Harry, Sadistic!Harry, WrongBWL!Harry, Neutral!Harry, DifferentFamily!Harry and a host of others. Even am trying my hand at compiling a few of my favorites. Interesting, no? The way my mind switches tracks. Only some time ago, I was still obsessing over Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And now I ask – why on earth haven't I tried writing anything? Or at least **_**posting**_** one of those on my computer. All I really should do is edit it, and post. They shouldn't be that bad…oh wait, they are.**

* * *

Patricide is very interesting, really.

(a plane flies over her)

No, what she's watching isn't considered patricide, simply…the fall of a man who gave him his name. really, that's what she is watching here. It's not like they're related by blood, as they would tell by this century.

Oh, the irony. Her little Captain didn't even realize it. One last kiss and _boom!_ he just set Captain Jack Harkness's destiny. Oh, silliness behold.

So maybe she isn't watching patricide. No, this is a case of a time-traveler being too sentimental (_aren't they all_) and causing the death of the reason of their sentimentality.

For here, that makes the previous version take the name _because_ the future version killed the name-bearer, so that the past could pick the name off of a list and use it, so the future simply _had_ to talk to the man who he had stolen the name, because the future had _already_ killed the said man in an terrifyingly roundabout manner. Honestly, her Captain really _should_ have noticed what era he was in. the twenty-first might be accepting of a man and a man or a woman and a woman, but _Toto, you ain't in Kansas anymore_.

Does that make the twenty-first or the fifty-first his Kansas? If so, what or where or _when_ was hers? Or did she simply not _have_ a Kansas? Or was she reading too deeply into a meaningless case of aliens picking up a human girl in their tractor-beam and transporting her to their planet by accident? She wasn't too sure, but she liked the story.

She knew what Toshiko Sato's Kansas was, sure. She knew what her alien spaceship was (her cell), but where was her Captain's alien spaceship? In fact, what was his house – the TARDIS? Toshiko's could be her mind, but that was something humans simply didn't do.

In fact, if you took it from there, Toshiko was _decades_ ahead of her time, what with the way her brain worked. Usually they had to get transplants to do some of the things that she did. So maybe she had a hint of Gallifreyan in her?

(a distant noise sounds out, _one, two, three, four, five, six, seven…_)

_Worlds whirl past her as scenes wind their way around her like a serpent of Earth_.

No, she wasn't. perhaps she was simply brilliant.

(eight)

_Lives flash past her in a mere instant_.

(a plane falls from the sky and over her head)

Yes, yes she was. Final moments trying to help, even though she knew, _she knew_ she was dying. Yes, yes she was.

(_shrapnel scatters across the field_)

Now where was her house?

(the explosion is minor, but the flames are anything but)

_Oh yes, _there_ was her house_. Oh, the girl was brilliant. The house was her _numbers_, oh brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

(grass already dying is caught up in the ravenous flames)

No, that wasn't right. She was looking at it the wrong way. The numbers were that dog – Toto, was it? Her house was something she'd take, but leave behind.

(a searing wave of heat)

Her sanity?

(the planes of the former Captain Jack Harkness's formation circle and weave in the sky above)

Her weakness.

(_he should have noticed…_)


End file.
